Underlying policy assumptions

I went to a policy discussion about ‘HST’ (Harmonized Sales Tax) tonight. I was excited to see a panel of former senior politicians, all of whom were from left-wing parties, speak in a right-wing environment. The night was a success because I left with more insight than I started with. But it was a failure in that it was all based on the assumption that HST was a good thing.

Now, I’m not an economist, and perhaps I was in a room of economists and just didn’t know it. Throughout the evening panelists talked about the political battle that is fought when implementing a smart strategy like HST. But even though this event took place in Alberta, the only province without a PST in Canada, there was no tools distributed to start discussions around why we should introduce HST here.

In all fairness, a former finance minister did say that the HST needs to be introduced to achieve a better ‘tax mix’, potentially reducing the level of corporate and personal income tax balanced against more consumption taxes (like HST). Another panelist suggested that municipalities should be allowed to directly tax citizens through a consumption tax. All nice ideas, but without a why they seemed like empty sales pitches… or dare I say empty political promises.

What’s the feelings name?

It amazes me the enduring power people can have over one another.

I do business with my ex and even though we’ve both moved on and are comfortable being friends, we still have this strange chemistry that draws out the best in one another. Somehow he has a way of pulling eloquent sentences from my mind and taking things three layers deep with one question. At the same time, I still get nervous around him and awkwardly bump into things. Somehow I am able to be the ego boost that pushes him to take bold new steps and try new challenges which inevitably seem to pop up after our conversations. We both know that we’re that ‘wrong timing’ relationship that never totally goes away… but both of us have outgrown that past.

Then there was the international artist who charmed me with his intellect, challenging culture and creative ways. He always had the upper hand, seducing me with a foreign life I so respected and longed to understand, while I always felt as if I had nothing to give him in return. Except somehow I ended up repeatedly being this artist’s muse. He would hit a multi-month dead end, lose his mojo or be inspiration-less until I would wander into his life and make everything better. It was such a strange and common occurrence. I held him in such great esteem and I never felt it reciprocate, yet I knew that I had the ability to pull him from the darkness, even if I didn’t understand the ability at all.

I’m sure there have been studies on this topic that would try to classify personality types. Or maybe it has to do with the astrological sign combinations. What is the feeling when you’re powerless when you’re with someone else?

Under the surface = gas

I remember being at a ‘gas station’ in Pakistan and being fascinated by the air pump that was fueling up the cars marked ‘CNG’. My friends explained that PK uses natural gas to fuel their cars because it makes political sense to be domestically dependent on their abundant deposits. They also said it was more environmentally friendly (I believe because it releases less emissions) and cheaper. It sounded great and I couldn’t understand why this technology wasn’t being used in North America.

In England, I started to learn about PHD Group, a company who alters engines to be fueled by propane (or natural gas) instead of gasoline. When I started to inquire more, my friend was very firm in his preference for propane over natural gas because of the methods used (fracking) to acquire natural gas are dangerous. I somewhat understood, but things really didn’t click until I watched GasLand.

GasLand is a documentary everyone should watch. Yes, it’s one sided, but it shows a side of the story that is not often exposed (oh law suit hush money). The movie made my stomach turn and was heavy on my conscience (especially because I live in a city economically dependent on the energy industry).

It reminded me of a conversation I had with an 80 year old farming lady who lived in such a remote area, it took her 30 minutes to get to the nearest village of 500 people, 45 minutes to the nearest hospital and 100 minutes to the nearest city. She relies on driving and there is no option for public transportation. She was the first person to draw my attention to the shale deposits, and the first one to invest in companies who were aggressively trying to drill. In her world she needs fuel and she doesn’t take the time to think about what impact that fuel will have generations later. After all, technology will solve all of our problems… right?

I wonder what her response would be if her animals were getting sick. Are we playing God by extracting and becoming dependent on something that took thousands of years to create but hundreds of years to squander?

Uncensored Impressions of Europeans

English – I’ve been wooed by the wit of a Brit before and fell for his charm and mystic. Sadly, that was not the norm I experienced while in England. Customer service was horrible, often being ignored until their phone call with their friend was completed (I suppose tipping does have positive side-effects), and people didn’t seem happy. Most of the Brits that I’ve met abroad have been very friendly, open and jovial… but I didn’t have the same experience on their home turf.

 

Northern Irish- I was shocked to witness the deep seeded divide between Catholics and Protestants. After being in Rwanda and seeing people mask the anger present within the population, I thought that it wouldn’t be so public and such a current issue in Northern Ireland. But I was wrong. Belfast on it’s surface was neutral, but after 20 minutes with any local you knew where they stood. The rift has lasted for generations and everyone has grown up on battle ground so even though everything looks fine… the undertones are very real and present.

People in general were helpful and kind… but again most conversations turned political without provocation. One guy even paid for our cab fair to a hunger strike talk after meeting us for 5 minutes. Politics run through every aspect of this country.

 

Irish- Proud drinkers who are helpful little cousins. Granted, this impression is only based on a weekend in Dublin, but everyone I met was very nice (in an innocent and ignorant kind-of-way) and all were up for a pint or two. I even went into a pub at 3:30pm and was shocked to see it FULL of grey-haired Irish senior citizens enjoying an afternoon Guinness as they watched tennis on the tube. My favorite conversation was with one man who worked for the Republic of Ireland Commission to the EU. He was a true-blue believer in the strength of the EU, but admitted that one of the MP’s needed a bit more grooming after she had a little too much sauce and started making inappropriate comments about sex to other EU officials.

 

Estonian- I now understand why most Estonians strive to be considered Scandinavian and try to distant themselves from the rest of Eastern Europe. In general Estonians are blonde, lean and put together… very similar to Swedish people. But there’s a bit more of a mix in Estonia, clearly influenced by their Soviet period. People seemed very sweet, with the pagan, fairy-hippy traditions seeping through as we drank beer over campfires and listened to music in old castles instead of going out to nightclubs. It could’ve just been the locals I was exposed to – but they were they type of indie folk that I would call friends at home.

 

Latvian- There was a definite change in the vibe when I crossed the border to Latvia, and even as I went further south in Estonia. A much more prevalent Russian influence, with greater variety in clothing styles and the shapes and types of people. English became harder to communicate in, but as I was only here for a day, I feel it unfair to say much more.

 

Russian – Very difficult to get to know. Even though I was here for almost 2 weeks, and even though our tour guides would answer almost any question about life in Russia (current and past) that we asked, it felt like everything was surface level. Access to the outside world is still limited (it’s very difficult to get internet access outside of the city center of the main cities… almost impossible in other cities, and it is very difficult for Russians to attain a VISA to travel outside of the former Soviet Union). I did talk to an ex-pat who had been in Russia for 14 months (and will be here for another 22 months) who said that Russians are very warm after you crack their exterior… but it takes a long time to attain their trust and it can be difficult to maintain friendships if you make more money than they do. Language is an obvious barrier, as is the fact that most tourists travel with packaged tours (as you need to be sponsored by a host to even attain a Russian VISA).

My assumptions based on these experiences have been that most Russians are followers of strong leaders, but not easily manipulated. They’re very strong people that can survive a lot and as a result reserve emotion for a select few. They don’t seem to be trend-setters (even eco-friendly alternatives are not yet available) and as my ex-pat friend correctly stated, “Russia is a third world country with lipstick”. 

Lasting Impressions

The Place –
The first major European city I visited was Berlin. I was traveling with a local friend and although that was 9 years ago, I can still remember the sights, the conversations, and the streets. And I know that these are more than just memories attached to photographs because Berlin was also the first city I’ve revisited as a tourist.

At first it was a strange feeling passing by the Brandenburg gate and Reichstag only to think, “been there, done that.” But then I realized how much freedom I had when all of the standard tourist attractions have been crossed off – and more importantly stay crossed off because of the very real impression they left on me the first time around.

Maybe I remember eating cappuccino ice cream for lunch in Potsdamer Platz because it was my first real travel experience without my family and without the normal societal rules. Maybe it was just my age. But I find it interesting that things I did 9 years ago have beat the test of time, while I now find it hard to remember where my friend’s London flat is after having stayed in it only weeks before.

 

The Person –
My Dad’s favorite phrase to associate with me (his youngest child) was coined when I was three years old: “God help the man she decides to marry.” And every time he can share that story with strangers, he will.

Now I’m not denying that I can be opinionated and strong-willed, but that phrase simply doesn’t represent any part of who I am in relationships. My father still sees his little girl as the bossy five year old with budding leadership characteristics, which align with his leadership style. But no matter what I say to try to introduce my Dad to the woman I’ve become, I still remain that little girl in his idealistic mind.

I just spent a solid 2 weeks of one-on-one time with my Dad on a trip. I’m not sure we’ve ever spent so much solo time together, and I was sure that he would start to see the ‘present’ me. I guess that was the idealistic me thinking.

Art Timeline

I wonder if you can trace art to predict the future?

I remember seeing risqué art in Lahore. It was drawn in the 1970s by a young artist who grew up in the whore house, and it was a sketch of a prostitute from behind with her hair up, wearing a bra and pants. She was overweight and if I had seen the sketch in any other context, I would struggle to find the sex appeal or danger in it. But in Pakistan I could understand why it pushed the boundaries and wondered if it represented more. This sketch wasn’t displayed in a gallery nor was it tucked away in a private collection. It was in the front entrance to a very famous and popular restaurant which is right beside the largest mosque in the city. Was this a small sign of changing times?

Walking through the Tretyakov gallery in Moscow allowed me to vaguely trace art’s history in Russia. It started with religious icons painted on wood, was followed by the portrait period which rapidly evolved into a love affinity with landscapes. The one constant was dark colors used and somber appearances. Creativity within the collection was miniscule which may be a reflection of the isolation in Russia or the society in general. The few pieces that were slightly more abstract, possibly influenced by the impressionists (but far later in history), were tucked away in a side room and almost laughed at by tour groups that walked through. What does this Russian art say about their history, and where they are going?

I wonder what would happen if you match USA’s and France’s art history with their historical development. Could you use their development within art as marking points for their development as a society? Are art collections true reflections of a people – or only a piece of the history countries use to represent the life they want to be remembered by?

The Chakras – Keys to Self-Understanding and Freedom by Swami Kriyananda

One of my spiritually connected friends had a dream telling her to release her third eye chakra. After ignoring the first message, the dream reoccurred. She soon became a chakra expert and now has a light within.

Her story reminded me of the beauty of spiritual reading… or listening in my case! I’ve been making more of an effort to meditate recently, so to assist in this process, I decided to listen to this audiobook and have been pleased to be reminded of many lessons. It’s an easy listen, as Swami Kriyananda recorded one of his lecture series, making the connection tangible and the teachings accessible.

The basic idea behind chakras are that we all have 7 which lie on your spine and are aligned with major organs. Each is associated with its own color, astrological signs and is represented by a flower with varying numbers of peddles. The bottom three are materialistic and the top four are spiritual.

I first started learning about chakras from my yogi in India and have since tried to learn more through meditation and seeking. I strongly encourage those who need a refresher to listen to this book. It’s also friendly to first time learners, so long as it’s listened to with an open heart/mind. The swami explains that chakras aren’t typically the first lesson one learns, so there are some presumptions in the book that may turn off newcomers if the book is listened to with skepticism.

Call out to my spiritually knowledgeable peeps!
One thing I’m curious to explore deeper is the connection between astrology and the chakras. This may be my ego talking, but I’m intrigued by the fact that I’m born on the cusp, so I am represented by both Libra and Scorpio. More interesting still, is that these two signs are aligned with the heart (spiritual, positive, venus) and the sacrum (materialistic, negative, mars, fire)… they’re opposite. But, if birth and death really don’t matter, do ‘our’ astrological signs align with ‘our’ chakras? And when my yogi told me that ‘my’ chakra to focus on was the heart (represented by Libra), is this a coincidence? Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!

Write for who?

Over the past 2 years I’ve been to 25 different countries (or states for those of you who prefer legal correctness) outside of North America. That’s ridiculous. And each time I go abroad, I feel like an addict who’s getting their fix while deepening the cravings.

And, like an addict, I start to feel isolated. Alone. No one understands me. No one can – can they?

I’ve shared this blog with 17 people. Strangers have found it on their own (which I’m grateful for), but there’s only been a select few who I feel I can trust, or who I feel will appreciate these thoughts. I guess it’s kind of pathetic needing a blog to stay connected with those who are closest to you… but that’s the reality I’ve created and addicts are slightly pathetic.

Over the past 2 months I’ve made some new life long friends and re-connected with some past life long friends. And sadly, the old veins just aren’t as strong as they used to be. It’s not like they need to be removed, but things have changed and it’s hard to move past the past life… especially when fresh drugs are easily injected into fresh veins.

It’s normal to have certain friends in specific stages of your life – but if I keep making the closest connections on a temporary basis, I can’t be surprised to not really be known by anyone. Each time I go away, I’m not only sharing these experiences with people who quickly fade from my life, but I’m also distancing myself from those constant few friends at home. Have a created my own island and am slowly cutting the lines that keep me grounded? The catch is that I’m restless while at home…

PS – I quit smoking yesterday. Think it will stick?

ignorance ain’t bliss

Northern Ireland is fucking complex. I’m surprised and shouldn’t be. I guess this is what ignorance feels like.

Sure- I had read about Bloody Sunday in Londonderry/Derry. But I didn’t expect to get weird looks when I told my Muslim friend I was traveling to ‘Londonderry’ (Protestant) (instead of ‘Derry’ (Catholic)). For fuck sakes – that’s what it says on the train schedule!

I also didn’t expect to be reading and talking about politics every time I broach the subject of healthcare. Should the maternity ward go in Belfast City Hospital (Protestant) or Royal Victoria Hospital (Catholic)… literally just a few blocks apart from one another? Anything in the public sector is bound to have politics in its underbelly, but it seems wrong to be talking more about solidarity and equity than health issues like wait lists or patient care.

My biggest shock came from the realization of how current issues still are. I arrived less than 1 week after the latest riots… but was then comforted by a local who said ‘it’s just the rioting season, not to worry!’ I attended a Republican community talk about the hunger strike of 1980/81 given to a community who lost one of the ten prisoners. The reoccurring questions revolved around what to do now. I took a black top taxi tour and saw memorials of people killed over the years, most recently in May 2010. People still live in segregated communities and most neighborhoods remember past lost lives, and pass along the stories of former prejudices and wrongdoings. It’s sad when you here about the first day of med school, students began to slot the ‘Huns’ (P) and ‘Taig‘ (C). I thought it was normal to eye up your peers you’d try to pull…  not speculate about where they go on Sunday morn.

I guess what’s really hitting me is my own prejudice. Even though the streets, the people, the prices, the food, and even the fields all feel like home, the reality is that there’s still a riot season here with a deep seeded divide amongst the population. I’m ashamed to admit that it’s easier to stomach seeing something ‘foreign’ burst into flames than something ‘familiar’. I can forgive an Israeli for their ignorant hatred towards Palestinians, but I view the Catholic and Protestant feud as childish.

In reality – I’m an outsider to both issues and familiarity with a façade means nothing.

How much does where we start from really affect where we go? (warning: be open and let go before you read)

When people go abroad, they often have a newfound appreciation for where they come from. This time abroad, I have a newfound appreciation for the way I was brought up. The province I came from has given me political knowledge with a slant that I don’t agree with, but understand why it exists. I always thought that the town I grew up in limited my development due to a lack of resources, but it now I see the creativity that was fostered. But does the environment we grow in help us select our future path?

 

Over the past month I’ve had two mind blowing conversations about spirituality, fate and happiness. These conversations were not planned and were unforeseeable. I now realize that three people who were raised in very different ways have all, independently, come to a very specific conclusion about the underpinnings of the human ‘soul’. How does that happen and how do these ideas converge in such a short time period?

 

One shocking realization was how happy and natural I could be these strangers who shared my fundamental spiritual baseline. Whether I knew them for 2 weeks or 3 hours, I had stronger connections with these two than I had had with people whose relationships have been built over multiple years. How were we drawn together- how did we find each other?

 

One theory is that we all have a path which is further developed by the opportunities we take and the people we cross on the journey. Another is that we’re born into a set of skills and resources that allow us to achieve (or bomb) an optimal fate/destiny/end point.

 

So- what does the whole ‘born this way’ mentality really mean? Are we born with a destiny to fulfill or the ability to achieve?

 

I know it’s a cop-out, but I think the answer lies in the middle. If everyone is born into a certain skill set with particular assets at their fingertips, then uses opportunities and experiences to further develop this skill set, the optimal fate will be achieved. The order of the lessons we learn in life will be shaped by the people we interact with and the choices we make, but each lesson is like a checkpoint that brings us closer to our end point.

 

The connections I had with 2 strangers within 1 month was more than a coincidence. We all share a similar lesson and are all sorting it out now. That’s why we’re more comfortable with one another than with friends we’ve known for years… we’ve been asking similar questions and have found the same answers independently – but we all understand a piece of the journey one another has taken. We share a small piece of one another’s path, regardless of where we came from.

 

As for the environment we are raised in, maybe it helps us get to places, but I don’t think it alters our ‘checkpoints’… it just alters the order we sort them out in. There are too many examples of people who make it from nothing, or fuck up with everything. Environment doesn’t shape you – it’s what you choose to do with it.